Rushing and Perfection = Stress.

This is one of the many funny and distracting things they did to get out of going to bed.

We had a wonderful weekend. Lots of family time, 2 naps for me, both cars washed and detailed with lots of sunshine and laughter. We had plenty of fun while accomplishing a few tasks.

I had an unusual week last week and was unable to get to the grocery store. Sunday, at around 5, I packed the girls up and went to HEB. Upon returning home I looked at my refrigerator with wonder and horror. There was MUCH to be eaten, tossed and cleared. What in the world had I been doing having fun all weekend?  Fortunately, Mark was outside detailing my car, (best husband ever) and I allowed Lola to take Selah in the front to play. If anyone has ever had a toddler, they know cleaning out the fridge can be a logistical nightmare. At this point it was 6:30, our usual eating time. I could feel my anxiety starting to rise. I still had to clean out the fridge, unpack groceries, cook dinner, eat dinner, bath the girls, read books and put kids to bed. Please breathe self.

Dinner. Rounding children up from playing outside for three hours is an unfortunate task for all parties involved. I know the kids are going to go to bed late and I am already anticipating a cranky morning so I am feeling stressed about something that has not even happened. Daddy is exhausted after being play-mate #1 for 2 days, all the while fulfilling my to-do list. The kids, on the other hand, are trying to pull themselves from an outdoor world of relative freedom and sunlight into an indoor world of grouchy parents and a cacophony of questionable leftovers.  They don’t move fast enough for Pete’s sake. When we say “GET INSIDE!” in our loudest yelling voice, it does not mean take the bikes for another turn around the cul-de-sac. This grouchy/frustrated/time-is-ticking situation can turn a lovely weekend, into a sad ending with kids feeling confused and parents feeling frustrated and guilty. I feel sad when I think of how many times I barked at Moses to EAT already. As if it where his fault I did not grocery shop until Sunday, or that Mark is a perfectionist when it comes to things like detailing the car. The guilt did not come last night mind you. Oh, no. There was a well justified reason behind my hurried push to get the kids to bed. (At least I thought so last night)

Morning. I am homeroom parent and on the Hospitality committee at our school. Both are relatively easy jobs with little responsibility most of the year. However, Teacher Appreciation Week is a biggie. I had signed up to bring Kolaches and serve the teachers before school started on Monday. I woke myself at 6, showered with full make-up (whoot). Woke up Moe from a fit-full night of sleep (in our bed) in order to push him in the shower. I rolled Lola out of bed and into her clothes, and picked up baby from a peaceful slumber and shoved her in the car. I absolutely cannot believe that I got all three kids and myself in the car by 7. It was a miracle. I gave myself about 2 seconds to marvel at said accomplishment and then sent my mind racing to the next task at hand. Get 2 dozen kolaches, donut holes for the kids…oh, wait Lola wanted a kolache too. AH, and Moses wanted a chocolate donut, go back in shop to get promised donut. Here is where you can start to see the guilt seeping in. I actually got out of the car again and went back in and got him another donut. Who am I? Anyway, we arrived at school at 7:15 and we were the second car in the parking lot.

Hmmm? That is odd. I glance over at the school marquee and notice STARR testing is this week.

Hmmm? Another oddity. They did not even let us each lunch when the 4^th graders tested a few weeks ago. How are we going to deliver goodies and treats all week?

Ahh well, no time to ponder, “Get out!”  Kids, kolaches, stroller and back packs hauled into school before anyone else. HOORAY!!! I WIN!!

That is until the Vice-Principal informs me, very gently; Teacher Appreciation Week is next week.

 I have never thought of myself as a perfectionist, at least not much. However, having children has shown me I am control-freak perfectionist. I want their bed time to be perfect, even if, night after night, for 8 ½ years Lola shows me not every kid goes to bed at 8. I want them to eat everything I put on their plate at dinner, even though, evening after evening; Moses shows me not every kid is hungry at dinner. I want their manners, behavior; love of each other to be perfect, even though growing up is a process that takes day after day learning things that take a life-time to accomplish. It irritates me to no end when they have not learned these lessons post-haste.  How long does it take?  My behavior dictates that I seem to be in a rush. Well, how many times did I sing “ABCs” before they could sing it back? I don’t know, about 60 times a day for three years.  

What in my intent? To raise perfect children? Heavens no, or at least I don't want it to be. I want to raise persons that love Jesus, love others and know how to deal with rules and expectations. What is in my heart? Am I looking to raise perfection in order that I may look good? I will have to think on that. 

Luke 6:45 says. " A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart."

Lola, the babushka.

Guess what? We get to do it all over again next Monday, because that is actually TAW. What to do different? Well, who knows? Not be so irritated that things are not right on schedule. Enjoy the fact that they get to eat donuts on a Monday morning. (Any day really) They are FUN kids! And, funny and ridiculously entertaining and creative. I need to remember, I am doing all this volunteer work so my kids can have a better experience in public school. Stop reminding them of that fact, and take into account, as far as their concerned, if it does not affect them directly they see no real value. They might or might not appreciate it one day, no matter.  Stop rushing them, stop rushing myself. Why put stress on little ones that already have to face a day without mommy after a weekend filled with loving parents?  It will all get done, one way or another. Pray. A lot. Pray for grace, patience, love, and peace in the imperfections and a heart that produces words worthy of a tape recorder. 

Words escape me. We were CRYING we were laughing so hard. (He is dressed up as Mark in a wig)